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10 Things I Wish I Could Tell My Pre-Mom Self

10 things i wish i could tell my pre-mom self

10 Things I Wish I Could Go Back & Tell My Pre-Mom Self.

If you read The Makeup Equation, you know that I am a busy, stay-at-home mama to three amazing children. I love being a mom, and I love my kiddos and my husband more than anything else in this world.  Sometimes, however, it's funny to think about all the things that I was completely clueless about before I had my kids.  I have definitely learned a lot along this sacred mommy journey. 

Today I want to talk about ten things I wish I had known before I became a mother. Knowing these things would not have stopped me from having kids, but they may have changed my attitude somewhat before I became a mommy.

Below are ten things I wish I could go back and tell my pre-mom self before God blessed me with motherhood.

1. Cherish the alone time with your husband now.  

Ah, yes, the topic of alone time with your husband.  This is one thing I did not appreciate before I became a mommy.  I love my husband, and you can read more about that here: 5 Unknown Things About the Author of TME.  But I don't think I ever really grasped that having hours and hours alone with him would become nearly extinct once I had a child or two.  

I remember the summer before we got married, my husband and I went to visit his hometown in El Salvador.  It was a week long vacation in paradise.  We lounged at pools, we ate fish and drank coconut water as we strolled up and down empty beaches, we went shopping and explored colorful little towns.  Amazingly, I remember thinking to myself at certain points during this dream vacation that I was bored.  Can you believe this?? I felt bored lounging around with my husband, who I had all to myself in paradise.  I felt bored even though I was able to have as many conversations as I wanted to with him completely uninterrupted.  

If you only knew how many times I day dream about this one summer vacation with him.  Finding alone time with my husband is truly a disappearing act now.  Most days my husband and I are lucky if we can get even a few sentences in to each other without being interrupted by the kids.  I realize now that I did not appreciate the time I had with my husband before I had my kids.  

2.  Enjoy your solo shopping trips now.

This is something that simply makes me laugh when I think about it.  If you read The Makeup Equation, you know that I am a big shopper. I love to shop and I love to save money and earn money while I shop.  And I had so many years to shop by myself before I had kids and I never appreciated a second of it.   

After having three kids and generally taking them everywhere I go, I am shocked at how different things have become.  On the few rare days my husband is able to watch the kids and I can hit up a few stores alone, I feel like I am walking on air.  In fact, you could even say that I appear to be giddy to the cashiers that ring me up, it's just such an incredible feeling.  I can get out of my car quickly, walk into stores quickly, do my shopping quickly, and get back into my car quickly! 

3.  Relish in your financial freedom.  

I was a working girl up until the birth of my first child.  I made the decision to leave the work world and raise my son, and I went on to have two more kiddos after I had the first one.  I have been a stay-at-home mom ever since, and I don't regret a single minute of it.  I also know that it is a luxury and a blessing to be able to stay home with my kids, and I understand that not every woman has the ability to do this.  I know that I am very lucky to be in this position.  

That said, living on one income can be hard at times.  After I came home, I immediately realized that a lot of the financial freedom I was used to was gone for good.  My husband and I have been on a tight budget every year since I came home to be with the kids.  Was it worth it for me?  Yes, it absolutely was.  Is it tough?  Yes, it absolutely is.  I wish I could tell my pre-mom self to enjoy the luxury of being able to go out to eat when I wanted and being able to buy clothes when I felt like it.  Those are two things that pretty much don't happen any more. And that's okay.  But it is a big change. 

4. Appreciate your body.

pregnant mother holding pregnant stomach appreciating body

Point number four just sort of makes me laugh out loud, ha ha ha!!  There are so many not-so-lovely changes that accompany pregnancy and birth.  I struggled with loving myself and the body I given when I was younger.  What's funny is that after I had three kids, I realized how completely perfect and fantastic my body had been.  They say hindsight is 20/20 though, I guess.  You can read more about my home birthing experience here: My Home Birth Experience In Interview.

5.  You are getting the most sleep you will ever get in your life.

appreciate your sleep before you have children

This is a huge one.  I truly did not understand how becoming a mother would change my sleep habits. I think things were the toughest with my first child.  My son had a lot of colic and adjusting to the lack of sleep after giving birth was very, very hard for me.  After my son got a little older and improved, I assumed he would start sleeping through the night and that would be it.  I thought I would simply restore my sleep debt and things would go back to normal again in the sleep realm.  Oh how wrong I was!!

Not only did he not sleep through the night for about the first two years, but I then realized that no matter what his age was, I would still be getting much less sleep than I did before I became a mom.  Then I had two more kids, and basically sleep became something I stopped caring about and didn't even notice I was missing.  Once all of my three children finally made it to the ages where they were sleeping through the night, I found that instead of sleeping, I was relishing my quiet time and busy doing other things I couldn't accomplish during the day.  At some point I finally realized that lack of sleep would be with me forever, until my kids left the house, though at that point I would probably just stay awake worrying about them.  Oh motherhood, how cruel you are sometimes!

6.  You are an impatient person that will soon be put through patience boot camp.

I think that my personality made me a little more impatient than others.  But there is nothing like having three kids straight in a row to help you work on having a little more patience.  Not only are kids physically exhausting, they are even more mentally exhausting.  You will find that your patience grows by leaps and bounds as soon as you have your first child.  Although learning to have more patience is not exactly the most fun process, it does do wonders for your personality and growth as a human being.  Your parents may even thank your kids for making you such a more pleasant person to be around!

7.  With children, comes financial blessing.

This is a really encouraging point.  If the last six points have discouraged you, let this point be a source of encouragement.  Yes, kids are exhausting and tiring, and yes, they will try your patience,  But kids are also wonderful, and God will bless you when you have them, both personally and financially.  Each one of our children brought a  great financial blessing.  Shortly after my first son was born, my husband got licensed and became self-employed.  Being licensed and self-employed has allowed him to make a lot more money than if he had stayed working for someone else.  Right before the birth of my daughter, we bought our very first home.  Right after the birth of my second son, we sold our first home and bought a gorgeous second home.  God knows that you need to take care of your children, and He will bless you in amazing ways to allow you to do just that.  

8.  You and your husband will change after you have kids.

appreciate time with your husband before you have kids

When I look at my husband, I see a totally different person than the one I married.  I loved the man I married, but that man was carefree and unaccustomed to sacrifice and real love.  When I look at my husband now, I see a man that sacrifices himself on the daily for his wife and children.  My husband shows what real love looks like all the time, and he gives everything of himself for his family.  Yes, my husband has changed, but he has changed for the better.

I know that I too have changed a lot.  Before I had kids, I would probably have been described as self-absorbed and probably a little wimpy.  Although I may still be a little wimpy, I know that becoming a mother has definitely toughened me up.  I've also been forced to stop caring so much about myself and start caring for my children who desperately need me to put them first.  The changes that have occurred in me are for the better as well. 

9.  You will give your parents more credit than you do now.

Before I had children, I felt like I had a lot of justifiable complaints about my parents and the things they could have done better when raising me.  After I had kids, I lost a lot of these complaints.  Having children made me realize how incredibly hard it is to be a good parent.  I know that I will tell my kids that I just did the best I could, just like my parents told me, and I finally get what that means now.  Nobody has a blueprint for being the perfect parent.  Children are all different and we do the best we can with the personality we have and the personality they have and the circumstances we find ourselves in.  I definitely give my parents more credit after having kids.  Sorry, mom and dad!

10.  Prepare to redefine what matters most to you.

As a woman with no kids, I thought I knew what mattered to me and what didn't.  As a mother, I realized that everything that I thought was important to me, with the exception of Jesus and my husband, was actually not.  As I held each baby I gave birth to, and gazed into their faces, I realized that nothing was more important than they were.  Nothing.  And this translated into a complete readjustment of priorities in my life.  I do whatever it takes to protect and care for my kids, no matter what needs to be changed or removed from my life. And that, mamas, is a really beautiful thing.  That is your maternal instinct that God created you with.  You don't really know you have this maternal instinct in you until you stare into those beautiful baby blues.  

If you enjoyed this article, I invite you to check out some of my other motherhood articles, which you can find under my page, Motherhood.  To get coupon codes for many of the brands I work with, see my page, Coupon Codes.

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