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What To Do When Someone Has Wronged You

What To Do When Someone Has Wronged You

How To Respond When You Have Been Deeply Wronged.

Today I want to write about a very emotional subject.  That subject concerns how to respond when someone has deeply wronged you or taken advantage of you.  It's a position none of us ever want to be in, and yet unfortunately, in this life, we often find ourselves in this very position.  Being wronged unjustly causes a great deal of emotional stress and heartache in a person and it can wreak havoc on your life if left unresolved.

Below I am going to discuss what I believe is the best response to dealing with people who have wronged you.  

Let me start by saying what I am not going to tell you:  I am not going to tell you to just "give it to God".  This is a very common statement from Christians, and although it is well meaning, I don't believe it's helpful.  I say this because when someone says to you, "just give it to God", they are not instructing you on how exactly to give it to God.  You will be left saying, "well, how do I do that"?  You will want to know what to do to give it to God, what does that even look like?  I am also not going to tell you to just "love your enemies".  This is actually good and biblical advice, but it too can come off too broad, general, and unhelpful if it is not correctly explained.

Instead of giving you any general or broad statements, I am going to tell you exactly what steps you need to take when you are wronged unfairly and find yourself in such a miserable and awful situation.
woman crying tears after being wronged unjustly

Very recently my husband and I were wronged by someone.  My husband is a general contractor and he works hard for his money.  He recently worked for someone who asked my husband to do work for him.  My husband decided to do a few days of work for him to try him out before he did anything substantial.  Thank God he knew to test him out first. It eventually became clear that he would not be paid despite being told a few times that he would be.  What's worse is that he also spent some of his own money buying materials for them and had worked outside during some very cold days.  His time could have been spent inside in warmer conditions making money on a different job.

My husband and I are aware that there are measure's in place for this very type of behavior in the world of contracting.  We know that we could go to court and put a mechanic's lien on the property because he had not paid my husband.   

After three days of a lot of stress and heartache over the situation, my husband and I decided to do the following:

After my husband and I discussed the situation for three days and released all our anger over the situation to each other, we decided to take action.  The action we took was the following:  We opened God's Word, the Holy Bible, and we looked for passages that speak on this very subject - what to do when someone wrongs you.  We wanted to know what God would tell us to do, and that is what we were going to do.  If he told us to take him to court, we were going to do it.

We found three passages in the Bible that we felt told us exactly what to do about being wronged. 

Here they are:

Deuteronomy 32:35 - 'Vengeance is Mine, and retribution, In due time their foot will slip; For the day of their calamity is near, And the impending things are hastening upon them.'
Romans 12:19 - Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, "VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY," says the Lord. 
Proverbs 24:29 - Do not say, "Thus I shall do to him as he as done to me; I will render to the man according to his work." 

Further, when we went to church on the third day, we said the Lord's Prayer.  The words from the Lord's prayer in Matthew 6:12 - "And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.",  hit me like a ton of bricks.  I was being asked to forgive the wrongs of my enemies, the same way God has forgiven the messed up things I have done to Him.  I felt like we had just been given confirmation to concede and let God take His the revenge. 

If we had chose to do the opposite and take our own revenge, my steps would have been the following.  I would have had to file a mechanic's lien, deal with paperwork, and likely spend time going to court.  I would have also had to wasted time contacting the department of professional licensing board.  All this would have caused me further stress, worry, and wasted time.  

I have been walking with God for over 10 years now, and I have seen God answer my prayers and do some seriously amazing things, things that nobody around me can explain.  Because of this, I know that I can trust God.  I know that God keeps his promises.  I know that God hears little old me when I cry out to him and I know that He cares about what I tell him, and I have seen him answer the things I cry out for.  

I know that God will  repay. And by knowing this, I am at perfect peace with my husband's and my decision.    I will not have to spend any more of my precious time worrying and stressing over it.  Stress and worry have terrible effects on a person physically, and thankfully, by choosing the course of action that I did, my body will not be harmed any further. 

So instead of just "giving it to God" when you have been deeply wronged, I am telling you, read those four passages, let the words really sink into your mind, and do accordingly.  In doing so, you will spare yourself much heartache, further stress, and possibly more financial expense. 

And this advice can be applied to all situations in which you have been deeply wronged. I myself have been wronged by the medical establishment through sheer negligence a few times and I have taken this exact approach each time in those instances as well.  Instead of going through the strife and financial stress of a lawsuit, I have simply asked God to take his revenge, and let it go.  As a huge bonus, God has healed me physically from the damage caused by medical negligence in each instance. 

Remember this, my dear friends: God always takes the best revenge.  His resources to take revenge are unlimited, where as our abilities to take revenge are limited.

If you found this post helpful, can I ask a favor of you?  Would you share it so that it can help others?  Thank you so much.  If you enjoyed this article, you may enjoy some of my other mental health articles, all of which can be found under my page, Mental Health.

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